Being Me-Without-Her (you got this)
When we were young and immature, my sisters and I could be SO catty, petty and jealous. One of the benefits of time and experience and (some!) maturity, is that we were able to see that this behavior...
View ArticleV + B = love
A love story (in pictures) In 2005, photographs couldn’t even contain the happiness of these newly-engaged lovebirds. The wedding in 2006 was a very lovely & love-filled affair. Pink peonies And...
View ArticleBearing Witness
I have replayed the last days of Vanessa’s life over and over in my mind since February 23. Not by choice, but by some primal unconscious necessity, some part of me that simply must roll it around and...
View ArticleHoley
Hi! This is me, Jessica. I’m a rectangle. (So- I’m not talking body types here, but just random shapes for the sake of my illustration!) This is my amazing sister Vanessa. She was a triangle (& see...
View ArticleHappy Birthday, Vanessa
October 15 is Vanessa’s birthday. She would be 33 today. These “special days” of birthday, anniversaries and holidays are so tough – this first time through everything, without Vanessa, hits really...
View ArticleThe missing year
My dear Vanessa! As I write this on a Sunday night, tomorrow February 23rd will mark one year since you died. That’s 365 days of life with you missing from it, and 365 days of us missing you. All the...
View ArticleHappy Birthday, Vanessa
October 15 is Vanessa’s birthday. She would be 34 today. Last year, on the first “birthday” that Vanessa didn’t get, Christina and I tried to channel what Vanessa would appreciate us doing as we...
View ArticleSacred Spaces (Goodbye, Grandma)
My beloved, gentle, strong, kind, funny, beautiful grandma is dying, right now as I type this on Monday evening, this day before her 86th birthday on October 20th. This amazing woman has raised 7...
View Article2 years: A snapshot of grief
Today has been 2 years missing Vanessa. I had every intention of doling out here some snippets of this #grieflife, starting with her death, as time passed; weekly, if not daily, updates. “Today was...
View ArticleThe should-have-beens and the what-is
Today is the 5th Vanessa’s birthday I’m “celebrating” without her. She should be 37 today. She “should be” a lot of other things, too: Fretting about spotting her first wrinkles in the mirror. Raising...
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